Thinking about my life right now, I keep likening it to giving birth. The excitement, the anticipation plus the challenge and sheer amount of hard work to keeping going.
I told a friend this week “It feels as if I’ve been in labour for the past two years… and now I’m in transition”.
The transition phase is the shortest part of labour, but it’s also the most intense.
It’s the point when a lot of women say “I can’t do this. I’ve had enough. I’m going home.” We know that this isn’t possible, the only way is through. Yet the desire to give up is the signal that we are almost through.
All of a sudden something has shifted, my life and the lives of those around me began transitioning rapidly, mimicking the labour process. There have been days this week where I can barely keep up, feeling unsure how it will all unfold.
Maybe it’s because I’ve given birth four times, but I don’t feel as though I want to run away from this transition. I’m leaning in to the tension. Welcoming it, trusting. I feel energised, revitalised – filled with an absolute knowing that I just need to ride this out, and something incredible is going to be released, to reveal the new life waiting.
Sometimes when we’re going through huge challenges, through our “dark night of the soul”, we feel as though it’s somehow wrong. That life “shouldn’t” be this way, or that. Similarly, as we move into early Spring, we notice beautiful flowers popping up everywhere. It’s so easy to focus on the bright petals, forgetting that they came from bulbs which waited in the dark soil all winter long. Just as it’s easy to look at the shiny, happy moments we share on Facebook without remembering that everyone experiences pain, sorrow and struggle in their lives.
My friend Jenny talks about the “gift in ugly wrapping”, and that’s something I can really relate to. Transformation at a deep level always involves an element of sacrifice. If we can learn to sit with it, embrace it, love it, knowing it’s all part of the transformation, knowing it’s all for the highest good of everyone involved, then things really start to change. Deep inside me, I’ve felt that all along.
One of the things that’s making a huge difference to how I’m experiencing all these life changes is the inner work I’ve done connecting deeper to myself. In my personal practice right now, the two things which are supporting me most are sitting in circle with other women, and exploring shamanic work with my friend, healer and great teacher Vicky Heskin.
Vicky is a wonderfully gifted woman and the recent work we did together in February has definitely prepared me for this new phase.
In the old paradigm, I might have waited until I was burnt out, ill or overwhelmed before seeking help from someone like Vicky.
What I’ve come to understand is that we must do the work we need to fill ourselves up before we’re empty. Whether it’s Shamanic work, or some other form of healing, connecting to our souls is the most important thing we can do. We have no way of knowing what’s round the corner, and so our work is to be the fullest, most vividly expressed version of ourselves in readiness for whatever life brings us.
That’s how we can commit fully to living in the present, to taking each opportunity we’re offered, to walking in our true power.
Having experienced it’s power, I feel it’s my duty to share the work of people like Vicky. (So often they are not the big-name “gurus” we see online. Instead they are quietly getting on, changing the world, without thought of their own self promotion).
If you could do with connecting to yourself and harnessing the energy of Spring, then Vicky has a retreat coming up for the Spring equinox, Monday 20th – 22nd March.
You can read more about it here:
I’m going, and I’d love to see you there.