After a few incredibly exciting weeks where we have welcomed new life and experienced so much love and joy in our family, my energy levels suddenly crashed and a wave of sheer exhaustion swept over me.
Adding to the anticipation and excitement of the arrival of my beautiful granddaughter, I continue soaking up every emotion and piece of energy that comes into my home whilst the refurbishment continues.
Currently there isn’t even a tiny corner within my home I can claim to call my sanctuary. A small spot I can retreat to and fully relax, the mess is beginning to clutter my psyche and weigh me down.
I know it will all be worth it. I keep that thought clearly in the forefront of my mind, visualising how lovely it will be when the work is complete, how life will be in the months ahead.
However, I’m not living in the future, I’m living in the now.
And right now I require solitude, I crave space and time to be on my own to restore and replenish.
Typical of an Empath, a term I clearly identify with.
I’m still learning how to protect myself and not allow toxic energies, emotions and behaviours of others affect me.
I would have thought that after experiencing adrenal fatigue and burnout in 2014 which led to a yearlong sabbatical I would have noticed any warning signs.
There weren’t any.
It was a sudden blanket of exhaustion cloaking itself tightly around me.
There is a difference this time. I know I need to take action and not hope that a few early nights will resolve the symptoms.
Because adrenal fatigue doesn’t respond to that.
The adrenals continue producing cortisol and adrenaline, which ensures we stay on high alert, focused and enable us to deal with any pressure and stressful situations. Which is good, right, when faced with an attack or serious threat to our safety?
Not so good for everyday living.
When these little walnut size glands which sit just above our kidneys become over stimulated our natural circadian rhythm ( biological clock) becomes disturbed. Our levels of cortisol often don’t peak until late at night, making sleep more difficult. Normally, cortisol is produced naturally during our sleep, peaking in the early hours of the morning ensuring we have enough energy and stamina for the day ahead. That early morning peak doesn’t happen when your adrenals become exhausted.
And believe me it impacts far more than just sleep.
So, I’m listening to my body and paying attention to how it feels.
I’m pressing my (metaphorical) reset button.
That means getting creative in finding spaces and times to relax. I was grateful for the sunshine this weekend which meant we could get out of doors…. and sunshine helps regulate the circadium rhythm.
Foraging in nature
It means getting creative in the kitchen – when you are busy and tired, the last thing you feel like doing is cooking a meal from scratch. When you have extremely limited work space in the kitchen even more so! This is one area in my life where the act of simplifying doesn’t count. No processed or pre prepared meals here as eating fresh organic, well balanced nutritional foods with plenty of protein and B12 plus eliminating sugar, gluten and dairy is what my body needs.
It means revisiting my boundaries and saying a firm ‘No’ when the builders ask to come in for a couple of hours on a Sunday morning. Even though I want the work done, allowing my body to wake up naturally one day a week can only be a good thing.
It means getting sufficient exercise without over doing it. Getting on the mat (Yoga), power poses, walking, maybe some swimming.
It means asking for help. As a born giver and self resilient soul, I continue to find this challenging. The antidote of course in bringing this into a more harmonious balance is clear – practice requesting more frequently!
It means extending my understanding of the energy around me. To know when to protect myself, to prevent myself absorbing the emotions and energy I’m highly sensitive to that emanate from other people.
It means being fully responsible for what is energetically mine, and nothing more. Other people’s pleasure and happiness is no more important than my own.
It means spending time with those I love, those that share a similar or higher vibration. Other free spirits, adventurers and rule breakers who experience this too.
It means only doing work that fills me up. If we are working together at this time, it’s a blessing. I love the work we are doing together. Thank you.
It means self respect, prioritising my needs in all areas of my existence. Hindsight points to parts of myself I’ve subtly denied. Thoughts and stories I’ve repeatedly told myself. However, the truth is, it isn’t the stories we tell ourselves, the issue is we believe they are real.
So I can see I have created a wonderful opportunity to further release old ways of being, of unlearning and breaking patterns of thought and emotion for healing to take place.
Ultimately, and this is the exciting piece:
It means my life is on the cusp of an upward spiral.